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Category Archives: relationships
A conditional hug
My grieving process began. I mourned not for something I had lost, but for something I never had…I had to accept that you can’t change the past, just as you can’t change other people. Nor can you force them to see the past from your point of view. You can only change yourself, your own perspective, and your future. Continue reading
The friendship destroyer
At some point you have probably encountered a friendship-destroyer. I’m sure you know her, or one just like her. She latches on to you, you introduce her to your friends, she latches on to your friends. She causes fights and provokes jealousies. Your friends, who were getting along just fine before, are divided, and eventually their relationships are destroyed. Continue reading
Posted in friendship, reflections
Tagged attention-seeking, break-ups, control, friends of friends, narcissist
1 Comment
‘But I want them to like me!’
Adventure Girl learns a lesson in setting boundaries and saying no At the beginning of last year I made a resolution to ‘stop collecting crazies’. It sounds a little ridiculous when I write it out, but after a succession of … Continue reading
Posted in friendship, personal, reflections, relationship dynamics
Tagged assertiveness, insecurity
2 Comments
When a gift isn’t really a gift
By definition, a gift is ‘something that is bestowed voluntarily and without compensation.’ When I give a gift or offer my support or my time, I do so freely, because I want to, because it feels good to, and with … Continue reading
Posted in friendship, little bits of life, relationships, social commentary
Tagged debt, gifts, giving, obligation
1 Comment
Lust, love and loneliness
Roberta Bust opens up about her fear of finding herself alone I’ve been officially single for the last 5+ months now, and have found there is a part of me that keeps craving companionship and love, but without the complications … Continue reading
Posted in love, reflections, relationships, single life
Tagged break-ups, loneliness
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A Unicorn’s Survival Guide
Rhonda Perky goes under the covers to discover how to survive as a single in the Swinger’s Scene. A ‘Unicorn’ is so called because they are mythical creatures: the single female (or male) who appears to fulfil a couple’s erotic fantasy, and … Continue reading
Posted in adventures, open relationship, polyamoury, relationships, sex, single life, swinging
Tagged unicorn
1 Comment
Cutting the ties that bind
Adventure Girl learns the hard way that some things never change ‘I didn’t break contact because of the way he treated my mother in the divorce; I used the divorce as an opportunity to break contact. His behaviour at that … Continue reading
Learning my limits
Roberta Bust opens up about swinging solo Since my last blog, my situation has changed. I am no longer in an open marriage; we decided that it was better to part ways. Now, I am separated and learning how to … Continue reading
Posted in adventures, reflections, single life, swinging
Tagged boundaries, challenge, dress-ups, self-confidence
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Holding on by letting go
Adventure Girl learns a lesson in unleashing her green-eyed monster ‘Relationships of all kinds are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and … Continue reading
Posted in jealousy, reflections, relationship dynamics, relationships
Tagged control, desire, fear, insecurity, lust
1 Comment
A busty confession
Roberta Bust opens up about opening her relationship I never thought I would ever be in this position. I’m 29, happily married to an amazing man (let’s call him ‘Ben’). He is my best friend, my confidante, my whole world, … Continue reading
Posted in long term relationships, married sex, open relationship
Tagged monogamy, self-esteem
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A square peg in a round hole
Adventure Girl learns a lesson on being ‘in like’ “If I was meant to come in a box with a label slapped across me, I would have been produced by Mattel.” Recently I met someone I actually connect with, who … Continue reading
Posted in adventures, libido, open relationship, personal, reflections, relationship dynamics
Tagged love, lust, married sex, monogamy, monotomy, polyarmoury
1 Comment
‘Are you going to be a good girl?’
Rhonda Perky dons her collar and surrenders her will to her lover When I talk about being a Submissive, I am referring to my desire to be dominated by another, sexually. This means being objectified and giving up my will … Continue reading
Posted in BDSM, relationships
Tagged abusive, dominant, relationship dynamics, respect, submissive
1 Comment
Having my cake
Adventure Girl ponders the perils of wanting it all ‘So, you’re poly?’ ‘Um. I am?’ I consider myself a free agent. I like to see more than one person, ongoing but casually, and not always just for sex. Having one … Continue reading
Posted in casual sex, relationships
Tagged f-buddy, feminism, porn pile, sex positive, slut
4 Comments
Whose threesome is it anyway?
Rhonda Perky goes under the covers to discover if three can ever be less than a crowd Ever had one of those drunken hook-ups that somehow end up with three of you in a bed? Or maybe you’ve arranged to … Continue reading
Posted in adventures, group sex, open relationship, relationship dynamics, swinging
Tagged communication, couples, etiquette, threesome
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Perky Commandments
Thou shalt not stalk Thou shalt live thine own life Thou shalt let thy partner live his/her own life Thou shalt keep thine crazy to thyself Thou shalt be responsible for thine own happiness Thou shalt not dump all thy … Continue reading
Open, poly or just friendly?
Tiger Tale shares his views on sharing himself Let me start by saying I am ‘polyamorous’ (‘poly’ for short). According to Wikipedia: Polyamory (from Greek πολύ [poly, meaning many or several] and Latin amor[love]) is the practice, desire, or acceptance … Continue reading
Posted in open relationship, polyamoury, relationship dynamics
1 Comment
‘Nobody buys flowers for the porn-pile girl’
Rhonda Perky goes under the covers to discover what it means to be a Modern ‘Slut’. ‘Men want women to be sluts and now they’re buying in,’ — Professor Gail Dines, quoted in the Brisbane Times. Until a few years … Continue reading
Posted in casual sex, little bits of life, relationships
Tagged feminism, judgement, porn pile, promiscuity, sex positive, slut, slutwalk
8 Comments
When the truth lies
Adventure Girl takes stock of a toxic truth ‘Just now I held up the fingers of my hand to you. You saw five fingers. Do you remember that?’ ‘Yes’ O’Brien held up the fingers of his left hand, with the thumb … Continue reading
Posted in reflections, relationships
Tagged abusive, cognitive dissonance, compulsive liar, Gaslighting, narcissism
3 Comments
Seeing all sides
Adventure Girl learns the perils of too few points of view Over the years I have encountered many people who appear incapable of seeing anything from another person’s point of view. You probably know someone like this. Someone who is always … Continue reading →