Tag Archives: cancer

I could no longer distinguish childhood me from the person I am now. I had no mechanism to escape the shame of everything I have ever been and loathed: jealous, insecure, manipulative, weak, helpless, angry. The anger that is inside me at times is frightening, and I couldn’t switch it off. Occasionally it leaks out, unexpectedly, and completely misdirected. Then I feel more shame for having lost control so inappropriately. Most of all I wanted to stop being a burden on the people around me, especially my partner, who had to put up with my crazy. Continue reading →