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Category Archives: personal
A conditional hug
My grieving process began. I mourned not for something I had lost, but for something I never had…I had to accept that you can’t change the past, just as you can’t change other people. Nor can you force them to see the past from your point of view. You can only change yourself, your own perspective, and your future. Continue reading
‘Coping’ — side-stepping the moment
I could no longer distinguish childhood me from the person I am now. I had no mechanism to escape the shame of everything I have ever been and loathed: jealous, insecure, manipulative, weak, helpless, angry. The anger that is inside me at times is frightening, and I couldn’t switch it off. Occasionally it leaks out, unexpectedly, and completely misdirected. Then I feel more shame for having lost control so inappropriately. Most of all I wanted to stop being a burden on the people around me, especially my partner, who had to put up with my crazy. Continue reading
Posted in little bits of life, reflections
Tagged cancer, dissociation, needing help, PTSD, trauma
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The friendship destroyer
At some point you have probably encountered a friendship-destroyer. I’m sure you know her, or one just like her. She latches on to you, you introduce her to your friends, she latches on to your friends. She causes fights and provokes jealousies. Your friends, who were getting along just fine before, are divided, and eventually their relationships are destroyed. Continue reading
Posted in friendship, reflections
Tagged attention-seeking, break-ups, control, friends of friends, narcissist
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Reflection in search of an Echo
‘Adore me!’ she cries, again and again, ‘for without your eyes to see me, I might disappear.’
Seeing all sides
Adventure Girl learns the perils of too few points of view Over the years I have encountered many people who appear incapable of seeing anything from another person’s point of view. You probably know someone like this. Someone who is always … Continue reading
Posted in friendship, little bits of life, personal, reflections, social commentary
Tagged cognitive dissonance, lack of empathy, POV, self belief, truth
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‘But I want them to like me!’
Adventure Girl learns a lesson in setting boundaries and saying no At the beginning of last year I made a resolution to ‘stop collecting crazies’. It sounds a little ridiculous when I write it out, but after a succession of … Continue reading
Posted in friendship, personal, reflections, relationship dynamics
Tagged assertiveness, insecurity
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Finding my new ‘normal’
Adventure Girl learns a lesson in life after breast cancer ‘You are a strong person. Just because you are feeling these things now doesn’t mean you aren’t strong underneath. You are reacting to things that have happened to you, and that’s … Continue reading
Posted in jealousy, personal, reflections
Tagged breast cancer, DCIS, health, insecurity, self-confidence
4 Comments
An African Adventure
I’ve been in eastern Africa for a week now and I’m not sure where to start: the poverty, the corruption, HIV, the culture, the church. Right now I’m camped inside the grounds at a Kenyan orphanage. It is both warming … Continue reading
Posted in Africa, reflections, travel
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Lust, love and loneliness
Roberta Bust opens up about her fear of finding herself alone I’ve been officially single for the last 5+ months now, and have found there is a part of me that keeps craving companionship and love, but without the complications … Continue reading
Posted in love, reflections, relationships, single life
Tagged break-ups, loneliness
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Drawing back the curtains
Adventure Girl finds a way to let in the light Sometimes it feels like I’m sitting alone in the dark — wherever I happen to be — and that no matter how many different ways I try to get to … Continue reading
Posted in reflections
Tagged depression, insecurity, self-confidence, self-esteem, suicide
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Cutting the ties that bind
Adventure Girl learns the hard way that some things never change ‘I didn’t break contact because of the way he treated my mother in the divorce; I used the divorce as an opportunity to break contact. His behaviour at that … Continue reading
Learning my limits
Roberta Bust opens up about swinging solo Since my last blog, my situation has changed. I am no longer in an open marriage; we decided that it was better to part ways. Now, I am separated and learning how to … Continue reading
Posted in adventures, reflections, single life, swinging
Tagged boundaries, challenge, dress-ups, self-confidence
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Holding on by letting go
Adventure Girl learns a lesson in unleashing her green-eyed monster ‘Relationships of all kinds are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and … Continue reading
Posted in jealousy, reflections, relationship dynamics, relationships
Tagged control, desire, fear, insecurity, lust
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My dirty little secret, or ‘just another coming out story’
Adventure girl learns a lesson on playing for both sides ‘How did you cope being in a heterosexual relationship for ten years?’ For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a boyfriend. For longer than that, I’ve had fantasies … Continue reading
Clarity
It was the perfect intimacy void. We could push each other away, Use it to hurt ourselves.
Posted in personal
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Who is Rhonda Perky?
“Facebook is where we lie to our friends. Twitter is where we are honest with strangers” –via twitter Like most writers, when I work I assume a persona, whether I’m writing fiction or non-fiction, blogging, tweeting, even posting on a … Continue reading
Posted in reflections, social commentary
Tagged crabs-in-a-basket, persona, personal life, self-confidence
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A square peg in a round hole
Adventure Girl learns a lesson on being ‘in like’ “If I was meant to come in a box with a label slapped across me, I would have been produced by Mattel.” Recently I met someone I actually connect with, who … Continue reading
Posted in adventures, libido, open relationship, personal, reflections, relationship dynamics
Tagged love, lust, married sex, monogamy, monotomy, polyarmoury
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Never known
It’s my back as I leave that you love best Everything about me that you’ll never know You love my absence Of identity Of responsibility an idea a Presence and the lack of anything more an Object, romanticised, sexualised never … Continue reading
When the truth lies
Adventure Girl takes stock of a toxic truth ‘Just now I held up the fingers of my hand to you. You saw five fingers. Do you remember that?’ ‘Yes’ O’Brien held up the fingers of his left hand, with the thumb … Continue reading
Posted in reflections, relationships
Tagged abusive, cognitive dissonance, compulsive liar, Gaslighting, narcissism
3 Comments
Adventure Girl
Christine Priestly
Mad Julie
Rhonda Perky
Roberta Bust
Tiger Tale
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My fear
Adventure Girl learns the true cost of being afraid ‘As a general rule, the less one’s sense of life fulfilment, the greater one’s death anxiety.’ –Dr Irvin Yalom, Love’s Executioner My father was an intimidating man who ruled by fear. … Continue reading →