Category Archives: reflections

A conditional hug

My grieving process began. I mourned not for something I had lost, but for something I never had…I had to accept that you can’t change the past, just as you can’t change other people. Nor can you force them to see the past from your point of view. You can only change yourself, your own perspective, and your future. Continue reading

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‘Coping’ — side-stepping the moment

I could no longer distinguish childhood me from the person I am now. I had no mechanism to escape the shame of everything I have ever been and loathed: jealous, insecure, manipulative, weak, helpless, angry. The anger that is inside me at times is frightening, and I couldn’t switch it off. Occasionally it leaks out, unexpectedly, and completely misdirected. Then I feel more shame for having lost control so inappropriately. Most of all I wanted to stop being a burden on the people around me, especially my partner, who had to put up with my crazy. Continue reading

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My fear

Adventure Girl learns the true cost of being afraid ‘As a general rule, the less one’s sense of life fulfilment, the greater one’s death anxiety.’ –Dr Irvin Yalom, Love’s Executioner My father was an intimidating man who ruled by fear. … Continue reading

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The friendship destroyer

At some point you have probably encountered a friendship-destroyer. I’m sure you know her, or one just like her. She latches on to you, you introduce her to your friends, she latches on to your friends. She causes fights and provokes jealousies. Your friends, who were getting along just fine before, are divided, and eventually their relationships are destroyed. Continue reading

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Reflection in search of an Echo

‘Adore me!’ she cries, again and again, ‘for without your eyes to see me, I might disappear.’

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Seeing all sides

Adventure Girl learns the perils of too few points of view Over the years I have encountered many people who appear incapable of seeing anything from another person’s point of view. You probably know someone like this. Someone who is always … Continue reading

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‘But I want them to like me!’

Adventure Girl learns a lesson in setting boundaries and saying no At the beginning of last year I made a resolution to ‘stop collecting crazies’. It sounds a little ridiculous when I write it out, but after a succession of … Continue reading

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