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Author Archives: Rhonda Perky
Introducing Perks Magazine!
Rhonda Perky’s Bits is branching out. Perks Magazine is a sex-positive exploration of sex, sexuality, relationships and life’s perks. This site will remain as an archive of Rhonda Perky’s Bits, with new personal reflections appearing under the RPB blog within Perks Magazine. Occasionally pieces from RPB … Continue reading
When a gift isn’t really a gift
By definition, a gift is ‘something that is bestowed voluntarily and without compensation.’ When I give a gift or offer my support or my time, I do so freely, because I want to, because it feels good to, and with … Continue reading
Posted in friendship, little bits of life, relationships, social commentary
Tagged debt, gifts, giving, obligation
1 Comment
One foot in the closet
‘Often I find identifying as bisexual is akin to having multiple passports for different countries, all expired.’ — Faith Cheltenham, President of BiNet USA, in ‘Google’s Bisexual Problem’ For a while now I’ve wondered whether or not I should tell … Continue reading
Posted in little bits of life, sexuality
Tagged bi-invisibility, bi-phobia, bisexual, mono-sexual
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A Unicorn’s Survival Guide
Rhonda Perky goes under the covers to discover how to survive as a single in the Swinger’s Scene. A ‘Unicorn’ is so called because they are mythical creatures: the single female (or male) who appears to fulfil a couple’s erotic fantasy, and … Continue reading
Posted in adventures, open relationship, polyamoury, relationships, sex, single life, swinging
Tagged unicorn
1 Comment
Clarity
It was the perfect intimacy void. We could push each other away, Use it to hurt ourselves.
Posted in personal
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Who is Rhonda Perky?
“Facebook is where we lie to our friends. Twitter is where we are honest with strangers” –via twitter Like most writers, when I work I assume a persona, whether I’m writing fiction or non-fiction, blogging, tweeting, even posting on a … Continue reading
Posted in reflections, social commentary
Tagged crabs-in-a-basket, persona, personal life, self-confidence
1 Comment
The Magic Number
‘Is a girl who’s slept with 100 guys a bad person?’ This is an actual question on the dating site, OkCupid. Not, ‘Would you feel differently about a person, and in what way?’, but ‘Is she a good or bad person’? (Note: I … Continue reading
Are we there yet?
‘Personally, apart from when we’re trying to make babies, I think WAY too much emphasis is put on achieving orgasm for both men and women.’ Like many women, I have never had an orgasm from penetrative sex alone. I have … Continue reading
Disturbing Arousal
‘We’re the 4chan generation – can’t get off unless it’s at least borderline disturbing.’ – Anon (via Twitter) Recently I participated in a research project examining female desire and pornography. As part of the project I was asked to watch a short female-directed adult film … Continue reading
Posted in pornography, sex
Tagged arousal, desensitise, erotica, expectations, feminism, hardcore, over-exposure, porn industry
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‘Are you going to be a good girl?’
Rhonda Perky dons her collar and surrenders her will to her lover When I talk about being a Submissive, I am referring to my desire to be dominated by another, sexually. This means being objectified and giving up my will … Continue reading
Posted in BDSM, relationships
Tagged abusive, dominant, relationship dynamics, respect, submissive
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Whose threesome is it anyway?
Rhonda Perky goes under the covers to discover if three can ever be less than a crowd Ever had one of those drunken hook-ups that somehow end up with three of you in a bed? Or maybe you’ve arranged to … Continue reading
Posted in adventures, group sex, open relationship, relationship dynamics, swinging
Tagged communication, couples, etiquette, threesome
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Perky Commandments
Thou shalt not stalk Thou shalt live thine own life Thou shalt let thy partner live his/her own life Thou shalt keep thine crazy to thyself Thou shalt be responsible for thine own happiness Thou shalt not dump all thy … Continue reading
Never known
It’s my back as I leave that you love best Everything about me that you’ll never know You love my absence Of identity Of responsibility an idea a Presence and the lack of anything more an Object, romanticised, sexualised never … Continue reading
‘Nobody buys flowers for the porn-pile girl’
Rhonda Perky goes under the covers to discover what it means to be a Modern ‘Slut’. ‘Men want women to be sluts and now they’re buying in,’ — Professor Gail Dines, quoted in the Brisbane Times. Until a few years … Continue reading
Posted in casual sex, little bits of life, relationships
Tagged feminism, judgement, porn pile, promiscuity, sex positive, slut, slutwalk
8 Comments
Smoke and Mirrors
. . …he had the ability to hold up a mirror and somehow make you reflect him.
Posted in reflections, relationships
Tagged Gaslighting, mirror, narcissism, narcissist
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‘No Strings…?’ Well, maybe a few…
Rhonda Perky goes under the f*ck-buddy covers to discover a particularly stringy line Don’t let anyone who has a f*ck-buddy (FB) tell you they are not in a relationship. They are. It’s not an exclusive/monogamous relationship, nor is it an … Continue reading
Posted in casual sex, relationships, single life
Tagged boundaries, break-ups, communication, f-buddy, utilitarian dating
7 Comments
In the dark…
I realise I don’t know you don’t want to know you nor you me but also that I like it this way.
‘Use it or lose it’
Rhonda Perky’s guide to DIY ‘If women just fucking got over themselves… to [women like that] it is about men having needs that are lesser because they are physical rather than emotional and that sex is somehow an animal thing… … Continue reading
‘Even better than …?’
Rhonda Perky ponders the place of porn in the ‘real world’ ‘Of course I don’t fantasise about my current partner when I masturbate – I get to have real sex with them.’ — Mr ‘Long Rod’ McHugen Dong Modern men … Continue reading
Posted in pornography, relationships
Tagged desensitise, fantasy, hardcore, orgasm, porn industry, reality
2 Comments
Adventure Girl
Christine Priestly
Mad Julie
Rhonda Perky
Roberta Bust
Tiger Tale
Rhonda Perky's Bits 
Reflection in search of an Echo
‘Adore me!’ she cries, again and again, ‘for without your eyes to see me, I might disappear.’