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Author Archives: Rhonda Perky
Introducing Perks Magazine!
Rhonda Perky’s Bits is branching out. Perks Magazine is a sex-positive exploration of sex, sexuality, relationships and life’s perks. This site will remain as an archive of Rhonda Perky’s Bits, with new personal reflections appearing under the RPB blog within Perks Magazine. Occasionally pieces from RPB … Continue reading
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One foot in the closet
‘Often I find identifying as bisexual is akin to having multiple passports for different countries, all expired.’ — Faith Cheltenham, President of BiNet USA, in ‘Google’s Bisexual Problem’ For a while now I’ve wondered whether or not I should tell … Continue reading
Posted in little bits of life, sexuality Tagged bi-invisibility, bi-phobia, bisexual, mono-sexual Leave a comment
A Unicorn’s Survival Guide
Rhonda Perky goes under the covers to discover how to survive as a single in the Swinger’s Scene. A ‘Unicorn’ is so called because they are mythical creatures: the single female (or male) who appears to fulfil a couple’s erotic fantasy, and … Continue reading
Posted in adventures, open relationship, polyamoury, relationships, sex, single life, swinging Tagged unicorn 1 Comment
It was the perfect intimacy void. We could push each other away, Use it to hurt ourselves.
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Are we there yet?
‘Personally, apart from when we’re trying to make babies, I think WAY too much emphasis is put on achieving orgasm for both men and women.’ Like many women, I have never had an orgasm from penetrative sex alone. I have … Continue reading
Posted in masturbation, pornography, sex Tagged evolution, orgasm 1 Comment
‘We’re the 4chan generation – can’t get off unless it’s at least borderline disturbing.’ – Anon (via Twitter) Recently I participated in a research project examining female desire and pornography. As part of the project I was asked to watch a short female-directed adult film … Continue reading
Posted in pornography, sex Tagged arousal, desensitise, erotica, expectations, feminism, hardcore, over-exposure, porn industry Leave a comment
‘Are you going to be a good girl?’
Rhonda Perky dons her collar and surrenders her will to her lover When I talk about being a Submissive, I am referring to my desire to be dominated by another, sexually. This means being objectified and giving up my will … Continue reading
Posted in BDSM, relationships Tagged abusive, dominant, relationship dynamics, respect, submissive 1 Comment
Whose threesome is it anyway?
Rhonda Perky goes under the covers to discover if three can ever be less than a crowd Ever had one of those drunken hook-ups that somehow end up with three of you in a bed? Or maybe you’ve arranged to … Continue reading
Posted in adventures, group sex, open relationship, relationship dynamics, swinging Tagged communication, couples, etiquette, threesome Leave a comment
Thou shalt not stalk Thou shalt live thine own life Thou shalt let thy partner live his/her own life Thou shalt keep thine crazy to thyself Thou shalt be responsible for thine own happiness Thou shalt not dump all thy … Continue reading
Posted in relationships Tagged freedom, insecurity, self-esteem Leave a comment
It’s my back as I leave that you love best Everything about me that you’ll never know You love my absence Of identity Of responsibility an idea a Presence and the lack of anything more an Object, romanticised, sexualised never … Continue reading
Posted in casual sex, personal Tagged f-buddy, porn pile Leave a comment
‘Nobody buys flowers for the porn-pile girl’
Rhonda Perky goes under the covers to discover what it means to be a Modern ‘Slut’. ‘Men want women to be sluts and now they’re buying in,’ — Professor Gail Dines, quoted in the Brisbane Times. Until a few years … Continue reading
Posted in casual sex, little bits of life, relationships Tagged feminism, judgement, porn pile, promiscuity, sex positive, slut, slutwalk 8 Comments
Smoke and Mirrors
. . …he had the ability to hold up a mirror and somehow make you reflect him.
Posted in reflections, relationships Tagged Gaslighting, mirror, narcissism, narcissist Leave a comment
‘No Strings…?’ Well, maybe a few…
Rhonda Perky goes under the f*ck-buddy covers to discover a particularly stringy line Don’t let anyone who has a f*ck-buddy (FB) tell you they are not in a relationship. They are. It’s not an exclusive/monogamous relationship, nor is it an … Continue reading
Posted in casual sex, relationships, single life Tagged boundaries, break-ups, communication, f-buddy, utilitarian dating 7 Comments
In the dark…
I realise I don’t know you don’t want to know you nor you me but also that I like it this way.
Posted in casual sex, personal Tagged f-buddy Leave a comment
‘Use it or lose it’
Rhonda Perky’s guide to DIY ‘If women just fucking got over themselves… to [women like that] it is about men having needs that are lesser because they are physical rather than emotional and that sex is somehow an animal thing… … Continue reading
Posted in masturbation, pornography, sex Tagged feminism, libido, married sex 1 Comment
‘Even better than …?’
Rhonda Perky ponders the place of porn in the ‘real world’ ‘Of course I don’t fantasise about my current partner when I masturbate – I get to have real sex with them.’ — Mr ‘Long Rod’ McHugen Dong Modern men … Continue reading
Posted in pornography, relationships Tagged desensitise, fantasy, hardcore, orgasm, porn industry, reality 2 Comments
Reflection in search of an Echo
‘Adore me!’ she cries, again and again, ‘for without your eyes to see me, I might disappear.’